It’s late at night, and you have been stewing all day about something your partner did to annoy you. The time to resolve it is now because, as everyone knows, you should never go to bed angry, right?
Though it’s conventional wisdom, many relationship experts say sticking to such a rule is counterproductive. It may even harm the relationship.
“It’s completely wrong,” said Samantha Whiten, a clinical psychologist in Maryland. “All it does is make sure that people are fighting when they’re tired.”
Instead, couples can learn habits that help them get rest while boosting the relationship long term.
No one wants to go to bed angry
It’s understandable to want to discuss a problem before letting it fester, Whiten said, but it’s unrealistic to expect conflicts to be wrapped up quickly and lovingly before drifting off to sleep.
“That sounds nice,” she said. “That’s like a fairy tale, though.”
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